bait and switch, why? - Talk About Marriage

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I read in the forums of people pulling bait and switch tactics in relationships, specifically marriages, with regards to financial arrangements, child rearing, porn usage and sex. why is this such a common tactic, and why do people tolerate and hope and wait for things to change when they obviously (from an outside perspective) wont change? Have you ever been baited and switched, and what are you ding/going to do/done about it? How do you recognize when this is being done to you? Is there any real difference between bait and switch (further on referred to as BAS) and 'changing you mind?'

Yes there is a difference between ?bait and switch? and ?changing your mind?.

When a person does a ?bait and switch? they are intentionally promising something they have no intention of living up to. They feel that the ends justify the means. Generally they think that either you will forget about the promise, or that they can just not do it later and you will have to accept the switch. IT?s a pretty nasty thing for a person to do.

If they have to promise something to get what they want it?s ok. When a person changes their mind, they original promise was sincere. It was the afterwards when the circumstances are not what they expected that they change their mind based on the new reality.

I feel that the guy I married in 2000 pulled bait and switch on me. He promised to love me and be faithful. Yet he was cheating the whole time we dated and the first 2 years of our marriage. He also promised that he would work full time at his very well paid job and pull his weight financially in the marriage. He lost his job in 2002 and never got another.. just sat home and let me support him and his two children.

What did I do? Well after I caught the infidelity, I stupidly agreed to reconcile. And when he did not find work I stupidly just kept supporting him and his children.

I was not very smart about all of this. Should have kicked him to the curb as soon as I found out about the lying and infidelity. The first bait/switch should have ended it all.

Source: http://talkaboutmarriage.com/general-relationship-discussion/53882-bait-switch-why.html

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